I hate cold weather

I hate cold weather. It’s for this reason that I have decided to devote this week’s column to compare warm alternatives to cold weather activities. Some people say that they prefer cold weather over hot. This column addresses those few.

Now, it is important to note that this debate should not include extreme cases of heat or cold. It’s safe to say that nobody really likes to get heat stroke and hypothermia has never been considered a joy to be afflicted with. I’m simply here to talk about things that people like to do in the snow and provide them with healthy warm alternatives.

Many children enjoy throwing snowballs, making snow forts, getting days off from school, sledding and making snowmen. Adults in favor of the cold enjoy hunting, skiing, snowboarding, four-wheeling and many of the same things children enjoy.

First of all, snowball fights are only fun until someone packs a snowball so hard that the one on the receiving end is left with a concussion. This is not to mention the cold hands and wet gloves that forming snowballs leaves. My warm alternative is water balloons. In warm climates water balloons make a great substitute for the ice-covered, black eye makers. While the balloon may not break all of the time, causing red marks on the skin, at least we aren’t running our children to the hospital with a broken nose.  A good water balloon fight usually ends due to a lack of water balloons; snowball fights end when both parties are so mad at each other that a brawl ensues — either that or one of them is unconscious.

If you like to sled or ski, try going to the lake with someone who owns a boat. When you wipe out on the water you rarely get skinned up and you don’t have to worry about hitting a light pole.

If your children like making snow forts, try giving them some plywood and two by fours and have them build a fort. With a little adult supervision, they will have a lasting fort that doesn’t cause hypothermia. If this isn’t an option, pillow forts in the living room are equally as fun and a tent makes a very safe outdoor fort.

Instead of snowmen, a scarecrow makes an eerie addition to any lawn.
Kids, if you like getting days off for snow, I hope you realize that you’re making those days up at the end of the year when you could be outside, in the warm sun, playing.

For those that like hunting - have you ever hunted for antelope? It’s much warmer and you may get the chance to shoot lions too, at least if you’re attacked by one. If you think a ticket to Africa is too expensive, I’m sure a few years of not having to pay high gas bills will pay for it. Besides, you won’t have to buy all of that expensive warm camouflage equipment.

Four wheeling can just as easily be done in the mud as it can in the snow. For those that like riding snowmobiles, try out a jet ski. They are extremely fun to ride.

This list doesn’t include some of the other things we miss in the cold like barbecues, surfing, sunbathing, swimming, rock climbing, skateboarding, biking and so many more warm weather activities.

I will admit that snow does ignite a few good childhood memories, like my mom’s homemade hot chocolate and sledding at my grandma’s house, but the number of times I’ve slipped on ice or endured frostbite far outweighs these positive memories. I used to walk to school everyday, cursing Jack Frost the whole way.

You might be asking why I live in Nebraska if I don’t like the cold. Although I hate winter, Nebraska provides a great place to raise kids. It’s where I was born and raised. We have the greatest college football fans in the country and we are able to let our children play outside without wearing a bulletproof vest (at least outside of Omaha). Although the winters may be harsh, there are many things about this state that make it worth the shivering.